Ironic isn’t it? Motherhood is the best/worst event in a woman’s life all at the same time. It’s the moment where you mean nothing compared to the tiny human you’ve given birth to. You may agree to disagree but it’s a fact. Fear immediately sets in once your cervix has dilated 10cm or you’re getting prepped for that nice incision above your crotch, I’ve been through both. Once the baby is here everything else fades, you’re overwhelmed with joy and this tremendous amount of pride. Fast forward 10yrs and you’re calling your kid an assh*le or a little sh*t (in your head people, you know you’ve done it). Guess what… its all included!
I had just turned 18 when I gave birth to my son not knowing how I would care for him because I always depended on my parents for everything, I mean at that age what business did I have being pregnant? People back then frowned upon the idea of a young female having a child but it never really mattered to me. My father took it a lot better than my mother did but in the end they were always there for me. I whole heartedly think the birth of my son is the reason why I am who I am today. The idea of having something so vulnerable and pure exist in this world because of me is still terrifying but also the reason I wake up everyday. I love being a mother even though it is the toughest job I will ever face. I get that it is a way of life, we are here on this earth to procreate and the same cycle continues on and on. All I can do is try my best to be the best version of me for both of my children.
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Leeandro is my oldest, he will be 10 in August. He is such a loving, mature and kind boy. He is loved by many people from both sides of the family. His father and I have an awesome relationship, we are able to co-parent with no issues what so ever. He has stepbrothers/sister and the best step-mother I could ever ask for so we are very lucky! He’s a very artsy kid which he inherits from me and is going through a major Pokemon phase. Luckily I’m young enough that I know everything about Pokemon (I collected and played at tournaments when I was around that age) so we get to share that. The kid loves to get dressed up and it cracks me up. He’s known as the “boy with the bow tie” at school according to his teacher. Leeandro can be very hard on himself which can be good and bad at times but we reassure and encourage him all the time. I remember looking at him when we came home from the hospital and thinking how the hell am I going to take care of this tiny little baby, how would I even bathe him lol? Now he’s this big self-sufficient (to a certain extent of course) boy. He graduates next year and then it’s off to middle school : (
[/pipdig_right] [pipdig_left]Jelina is the baby of course, she will be 5 in September. She is such a smart little girl and is definitely an old soul. Her vocabulary is that of a 50yr old and her lisp is to die for! Just the other day she told me that she passed her “eye example” at school and I almost pissed my pants. She makes me think she is going to be some type of executive or girl-boss because of how adamant she can be about certain things. Now Jelly (her nickname) is a girly girl all the way, princesses, lip balm and Shopkins are her jam. She starts public school next year and (again one of those parenting instances) I’m terrified. She is genuinely the happiest child I’ve ever met, she is so innocent and oblivious to all the wrong in this world. Maybe it’s our fault for trying to keep that going for as long as we can before she steps out into the real world but we can’t help it. She always manages to always find a solution when problems arise which reassures me that she will be just fine. Jelina loves to color and do crafts which also makes me think she might have the “artsy” gene as well but only time will tell! She says she is going to be a vet when she grows up but can’t even deal with our neighbors dog running up to her, mind you she’s a tiny shitzu…
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My children are the reason I pursue everything I set my mind on, it’s vital for me to fight for them and their future. It sure isn’t easy and there isn’t a manual to follow but I can manage. That’s when I take “mommy time” to type up posts and film videos. This is my outlet to say and do as I please. Judgement will be everywhere you turn in life but it is up to you to decide what to do with it. I’ve had nothing but great experiences since starting this blog and I can’t thank you all enough, both old and new faces! I know bloggers sometimes get lost in translation and sort of loose sight once they go “big”. They loose touch with the real world, the everyday girl/boy who was there since day one. I can proudly say that this is the raw me and will always be me… I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am an aunt, I am a girlfriend, I am a mother….
Happy Mothers Day
xoxo